Some days are harder than others. Yesterday Martin and I took down the decorations so lovingly erected by Glenn and Marcin in your honour. Whilst doing that a car pulled into the close and a lady got out to shake Marcins hand and tell him how much pleasure they had given her father and herself last year and this. I wanted to scream that you had done them with Marcin last year and now you're not here because a vile shit disease took you away from us. But why spoil such a touching moment. That happens a lot. I want everyone to know how much I miss you and sometimes it's just not appropriate. I have to learn to bite my tongue and grieve alone darling. But every fibre of my body wants to howl at the moon!